Door of Hope Article

Am I Going Crazy? Gaslighting: An Insidious Form of Abuse [Free PDF Download]

Gaslighting

Gaslighting is emotional abuse that is used to manipulate you and gain control over you.

It causes you to doubt your thoughts, experiences, perceptions, and decisions.

The abuse is usually gradual, and sometimes subtle, leading you to feel defeated and exhausted, but unable to explain why or put a name to it.

Anyone at any age is susceptible to gaslighting.

Common Gaslighting Tactics

Gaslighting graphic
  • Negative body language, looks, or ignoring, that cause you to believe your needs and thoughts are not valid.
  • Withholding emotions to gain control, leading you to believe your emotions are irrational or unacceptable.
  • Denying that conversations or events happened, or didn’t happen the way you remember them.
  • Demeaning comments that attack your character, leading you to feel that you are stupid, or inadequate.
  • Manipulating situations to make you feel self-doubt and confusion (e.g. Tell you their favorite color is blue, then when around other people they say it is yellow, to hurt your credibility).
  • Every decision you make is criticized, leading you to believe you can’t make good decisions.
  • Being told your thinking is crazy, you can’t remember anything right, or the way you do things is wrong. Often use subtle, manipulative words that contain the seeds of doubt and negativity. It can also be conveyed through a look or certain body language.
  • Regularly being corrected or told/shown that there are better ways to perform tasks or make decisions, as though your way is inadequate.
  • They will often control conversations.
  • Reverting questions back to take attention off of them, causing you to question your own motives and views.
  • Accusing you of doing what they’re doing to you (aka projecting). e.g. accusing you of cheating when they’re cheating.

How Gaslighting Affects You

  • Constantly second guessing yourself, even in simple decisions like what to cook for dinner. Wondering if you can do anything right.
  • Feeling confused or crazy outside of the relationship. Self-doubt starts to spread to other areas of your life.
  • You begin to shut down and withdraw from activities, friends, and society, as you become confused and exhausted.
  • Although nothing bad has happened, you begin to lose hope and joy...yet you can’t say why.
  • You begin to question your value and worth.

If you or someone you know is being gaslighted, there is hope.

Free PDF of Am I Going Crazy?

Door of Hope support groups offer safe spaces where participants can share, process, and get the help they need. Our trauma recovery counseling offers freedom and life-changing transformation from the deep wounding of abuse.

Contact us today to learn more or make an appointment: info@doorofhopeministries.org or 763-767-2150.

Today can be the day your healing begins...

Reflections on #MeToo by Board Member, Jon Mogck

Jon Mogck, Door of Hope Board Member

Jon Mogck, Door of Hope Board Member

While reading a reputable online article about the #MeToo movement (which aims to show the magnitude of women from all over the world coming forward to share their stories of being sexually harassed and/or assaulted), I noticed in the sidebar a completely unrelated photo of scantily clad women on a boat, with a seductive headline directing one to “click here to see more.”

For a moment, it was like I was living in the movie “The Matrix”...Take the blue pill and continue living in the illusion of the world around you, or take the red pill and see the world as it really is…

I was struck by the absurdity of what I was seeing.

More and more powerful and outwardly successful men are falling from their positions…being accused of sexual harassment, inappropriate behavior towards others, and abuse.

We have entered a period of national reckoning and pruning that is crossing all arenas: Hollywood, Politics, Media, Sports, etc.

So what do we do now?

As one news anchor put it, “How do we reconcile our feelings about this?”

When a popular female comedian said, “Can we love someone who does bad things?” it occurred to me that while our culture wrestles with the growing realities and consequences of man’s sinful nature, the answers to questions like, “So what do we do now?” are becoming harder to answer and the narratives of our culture offers little more than…“become more aware and work harder to be better.”

As the light shines on areas that have been in the dark for so long, other than exposing it, what’s the solution to the pain of those that have been abused, and is there any available redemption for those who have been perpetrators?

A door of hope opens when our collective brokenness, sinful nature, and evil desires are exposed to the truth that “there is no one righteous, not even one” (Romans 3:10).

Door of Hope was created to bring remedy and healing to those broken and affected by abuse. We have found that when the pain brought about by abuse is exposed to the truth that Jesus offers, beauty can rise from the ashes.

Please continue to support the work of Door of Hope with your prayers and finances. It is such a critical time for what we are trying to accomplish and provide for our families, our communities, our cities, our states, our countries, and our world.

Join our prayer team by contacting us at prayer@doorofhopeministries.org 

Support us through your donation

Door of Hope Board Member, Jon Mogck, is a creative strategist, marketer, business developer, entrepreneur, and a member of Evergreen Church in Lakeville. He and his wife, Melissa, live in Rosemount, MN, and between the two of them have six children, and three grandchildren. Jon likes to paint, run, and play games.