Stalking is Abuse Too...

One is six women are stalked in their lifetime…

One is six women are stalked in their lifetime…

by Youth and Young Adult Ministry Coordinator, Gabby Plaep

Did you know January is Stalking Awareness Month and that this year is the 15th annual National Stalking Awareness Month?

I must admit, I was shocked to hear that this has been around for 15 years. Stalking is not a topic discussed often, or that people know much about.

So, let’s look at the basics and some common misconceptions.

What is Stalking?

According to Stalking Prevention, Awareness, and Resource Center (SPARC), stalking is “a pattern of behavior directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear.”

While many think of stalking as being followed or spied on, it involves much more. Besides the person stalking showing up unexpectedly or uninvited at places the person being stalked spends time, stalking also includes any unwanted contact. This may be in the form of text or social media messages, gifts, approaching the person’s family or friends, damaging the person’s property, or threatening the person.

Who Can Experience Stalking?

The answer is anyone.

Highest rates of stalking happen between the ages of 18 and 24.

One in six women will experience stalking at some point in their life. I first heard this statistic in a Rape Aggression Defense (RAD) training as a senior in college. It was followed by the chilling illustration that since there were about 10 of us girls sitting in the room, it was likely one of us would experience it. This turned out to be true, as I had been stalked two years earlier, as a sophomore.

About 1 in 17 men will also be stalked in their lifetime.

Who Does the Stalking?

Most people are stalked by someone they know. While this does include exes, they may be stalked by an acquaintance or a family member as well.

But What They’re Experiencing Doesn’t Seem Like a Big Deal

Something that seems harmless to you may be terrifying to someone experiencing stalking.

That gift you think is so romantic? It might signal to the recipient that a stalker now knows where they live or work.

That behavior you would classify as annoying but not really a big deal? It may be a part of an escalating behavior pattern that has left the affected person fearing where this is going and what will happen next. Remember the part of the definition that it causes fear in a reasonable person? It is important to understand why the person is scared.

receiving understanding and compassion from you will mean the world to them

It is likely that someone being stalked will sense being dismissed by those around them, so receiving understanding and compassion from you will mean the world to them.

When I was stalked, I revisited campus security because what they promised to do had not been done. They implied that I should be forgiving and just let it go. I’m thankful that God brought friends, family, some close faculty, and a chaplain to support me through the process. I wouldn’t have been as assertive without their support.

But They Don’t Seem Scared

This can be confusing. At Door of Hope, we talk about feeling defenses, which are emotions exhibited in place of the core feeling. For example, someone being stalked may appear angry when they’re actually scared.

There are other behaviors that may reveal if someone is being stalked. For example, do they go out of their way to avoid certain locations or change their appearance? Look for behaviors that demonstrate a fear of someone, even if the one being stalked seems angry or irritated.

Action Steps

1.     Making a change starts with awareness of stalking and becoming informed. SPARC is a great resource for more information.

2.     Then educate those around you. Talk with your friends and family, start a campaign on your college campus, etc.

3.     Know the signs and be someone that can be turned to in a stalking situation. The one being stalked will need someone who strives to understand their fear rather than brush it off as “no big deal.”

My Story

Although stalking was something I went through, it is not my identity. I have experienced God’s healing and am finding my identity in Him. His perfect love is casting out my fear (1 John 4:18) and is continuously renewing and restoring me.

My story is not unique, as God’s healing love is available to all. At Door of Hope we see Jesus bring healing every day.  If you, or someone you know, is being stalked and needs help, feel free to contact me at gabby@doorofhopeministries.org or 763-767-2150.

Meet New Associate Director, Nate Oyloe

New Associate Director, Nate Oyloe

New Associate Director, Nate Oyloe

We’re delighted to announce that God is expanding our reach through a new Associate Director, Nate Oyloe. Welcome Nate, we’re praising God for you and your call to join Door of Hope!

Here’s Nate’s message to you...

Almost 20 years ago, the Lord spoke to my heart. “Son, raise up a generation in My love and in My power — a generation like Moses who will lead the Church out of her Egypts.”

At the time, I didn’t know why God was calling me to raise up a generation, and didn’t know how to do it. Over the years, the Lord has been faithful to answer those questions.

The next generation will lead every sphere of life. Therefore, what they believe about the image of God is paramount to their sense of being human and part of God’s created order. Without a biblical understanding of the image of God and our being made in His image, the next generation—and society as we know it—will unravel. The fact that we are created in God’s image is solid ground for every generation.

Early in my recovery, I connected with the Twin Cities prayer movement where I found people of faith who encouraged me to spend extended times in prayer and in God’s Word. They taught me how to study the Bible and how to receive the revelation of the Father’s heart found in the Bible.

As I saw the fruit of a dynamic prayer life, I began to use this strategy in my work with young adults. The fruit was astounding. The Lord granted speedy healing and provision to those crying out to Him (Luke 18:8). I saw that God is raising up a generation in His love and power by revealing His love and power through prayer.

Now, my calling is clear: I am to help raise up a generation in God’s love and power, through prayer and worship while standing for the truth of God’s image.

As Associate Director, I will be developing programming and working with men, and with college-aged and 20-somethings. I will also lead an intercessory prayer team to pray for Door of Hope, our clients, and the abused and traumatized in our city, state and world.

Your prayers and financial support are essential to the work God has called us to accomplish. Thank you.

I look forward to getting to know many of you this year!

Feel free to contact me at 763-767-2150 or nate@doorofhopeministries.org.

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I Found a Lifestyle of Joy!

Aimee Anderson

Aimee Anderson

One of our clients, Aimee Anderson, shared a video of her story of healing on Facebook, and in the text below her video clip, she says...

"I have been going to the cities for training to learn more about how trauma affects the body. There is a wonderful curriculum called Authentic Hope, through a place called Door of Hope, and here I have found even more healing, and a lifestyle of joy!

My friend and I are excited to announce there will be a Women's Conference in Cloquet, coming January 2019. We would love to see you there!

We don't have to be what other people have said/done to us, we get to shed off the lies and trauma, and live our lives to the highest potential, because we are tapping into the joy center! It's a whole new way of approaching unresolved trauma... through the joy/control center of our brains!

It's amazing what neuroscience has taught us, how our brains can be renewed... I have never had such a zeal for life before! Here's to expecting good things in 2019! *fireworks*"

To learn more or register for the Cloquet women's conference on January 25 - 26, visit here.

To schedule an appointment to resolve trauma, visit here or contact us at prayer@doorofhopeministries.org.

Women's Christmas Event at Abundant Life

Gabby Plaep speaking at the Christmas Tea  More photos

Gabby Plaep speaking at the Christmas Tea
More photos

On December 7th, Gabby Plaep, our Youth and Young Adult Ministry Coordinator, spoke at Abundant Life Church’s Women's Christmas Tea.

The ladies took donations for Door of Hope Ministries, raising more than $400! Thank you ladies!

We are so blessed by this church family, who keeps showing up and helping out. They are incredible people of God!

Thank you to Abundant Life and to all of you who organized and attended the event!

Together we work to bring God's healing to the world...

To request a Door of Hope speaker for your event or gathering, click here and fill out the form, or you can contact us at diane@doorofhopeministries.org or 763-767-2150.

Meet New Board Member, Kendra Diehl

Kendra Diehl, New Board Member

Kendra Diehl, New Board Member

I am deeply honored to join this team of Godly leaders who work tirelessly to bring the love of Christ and power of the Holy Spirit into the lives of women, children and men who have suffered trauma and abuse.

Christ gave his life so we all may live. It is by the power of God’s Spirit on the earth today that freedom can be experienced by all.

Door of Hope is a safe place to be loved and to experience new life.

As a board member, I hope to share my experience and education in the area of Spiritual Formation and Leadership Development. 

A bit more about her: Kendra Diehl is Vice President of The Master’s Institute Seminary, and Director of Spiritual and Character Formation. She and her husband Rob have been married for 35 years, and are blessed to have three adult children, Caila (Dave), Tom (Katie) and Mitch, and two kind and creative grandsons, Levi and Emerson.  

Living with Abuse Versus Living in God's Freedom

As we all know, holidays can be stressful.

Maybe not so well known is that stress tends to increase abusive behavior, and abusive behavior can be hard to spot.

Abusive behavior happens in families, work, school, church, clubs, social media, friendships...anywhere people are.

If you want to move into light, life and freedom, there is hope.

We’ll walk with you until you know His freedom.

Please join us at one of our upcoming events or support groups or schedule a trauma recovery counseling and prayer ministry session by contacting us at prayer@doorofhopeministries.org.

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Thanking God for You!

Founder and Executive Director, Diane Stores

Founder and Executive Director, Diane Stores

I thank my God through Jesus Christ for all of you, because your faith is being reported all over the world. - Romans 1:8

I don't know about you, but for me November and December are a time of reflection, gratitude, and remembrance of all God has done the past year. It's overwhelming to consider all the ways He has blessed and poured out His favor, and all the ways He has used you to accomplish His purposes at Door of Hope.

Here's Some of What God Has Accomplished in 2018, Through You:

Support Groups

  • Served 166 people: 123 women, 23 kids, 10 teens, and 10 children thru childcare

  • Added two new support groups: Safe People and Loving on Purpose Parenting Class

  • Increased the number of trained support group leaders to 15

  • Added more group space through our expansion this fall (we’re already running out of space!)

  • Held our first off-site support group

Trauma Recovery Counseling & Prayer Ministry and Women’s Conferences

  • Facilitated more than 140 Trauma Recovery Counseling & Prayer Ministry sessions

  • Two conferences provided for women seeking healing from abuse, with one more conference coming in December

Safe Housing and Crisis Counseling

  • Helped 10 women in crisis write safety plans to help minimize the danger of leaving an unsafe situation

  • Added three safe houses, hosted by families willing to take in women needing a safe refuge

Staffing and Volunteers

  • 1500+ volunteer hours have been logged so far!

  • Increased the hours of Associate Director, Darlene Cook, to 30 hours a week

  • Hired Gabby Plaep as our part-time Youth & Young Adult Ministry Coordinator

  • Added Nate Oyloe to our staff as a volunteer (with hopes to bring him on payroll soon) to help us serve more men

  • Added two more staff offices through this fall’s Ministry Center expansion

Wow! It is very exciting to see God bring His hope and healing to so many men, women, and children!

The need continues to increase as word about Door of Hope spreads...

From all of us at Door of Hope - thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

From all of us at Door of Hope - thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

We believe we will be able to continue to serve those God sends us, but we need your help, your prayers, and your continued support.

From all of us at Door of Hope - thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

We pray you and your family will have a blessed Thanksgiving season.

With love and gratitude,

Diane Stores
Executive Director

Give to the Max: Double Your Gift Today!

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The need for our services keeps growing and is currently exceeding our capacity. 

It is exciting to see people coming for help, but breaks our hearts when we don't have space for them in our support groups or safe housing...We're trusting God to provide so we can reach more in 2019.

God Willing: Donations today will answer prayers for help in just a few short weeks.

Give to the Max Giving has started...

We have a match (from two generous donors) that will double your dollars, up to a total of $9,500.

Ways to Join In:

Make your donation today and your gift will be matched immediately. Thank you!

Donation deadline is midnight, Give to the Max Day, November 15.

Don't miss this chance to bring God's healing from the effects of trauma and abuse.

Staff Introduction: Gabby Plaep

Gabby Plaep: Youth and Young Adult Ministry Coordinator

Gabby Plaep: Youth and Young Adult Ministry Coordinator

Please meet Gabby Plaep, our new Youth and Young Adult Ministry Coordinator. If she looks familiar, it’s because she’s been co-leading our Hope-Filled Kids support group and helped launch and lead our Hope-Filled Teens support group.

We praise God that He is providing so that we can bring her on in greater capacity!

Gabby Shares:

In 2015, I received a BA in Exercise Science with a Minor in Youth Ministry from Hope College. While there, I interned at a
Vineyard Church in Michigan, co-leading their youth group and providing fitness classes for the women's ministry.

After graduation, I wanted to return to youth ministry and felt a pull on my heart to help those who have experienced abuse and trauma. I learned about Door of Hope when I was asked to dance at one of their banquets. I remember listening to the stories and asking God if I could join Him in what He was doing.

About a year later, when I was struggling to find a place to be involved in youth ministry, Diane called me about Hope-Filled Kids. I have never received a clearer yes from God in my life.

Besides my position at Door of Hope, I am a Pilates, Zumba, and dance instructor and am pursuing a Masters in Professional Counseling with an emphasis in trauma.

I firmly believe the Kingdom of God belongs to children (Luke 18:16), and that the young are
to be our examples (1 Timothy 4:12).

Watching these kids hear from God and grow in their relationship with Him is my greatest joy.